Still Held

I let myself look at the pictures one last time.

I don't even feel the tears until I see the smiling faces of our 24-year-old selves, grinning with satisfaction. "I really feel like we're not being wasteful," I said. "We got what we could afford and we'll use all the space."

Eleven-hundred and seventy square feet that we felt like we owned, even if after a year Mr. V calculated we only really "owned" the tiny half bathroom.

I've learned a lot about ownership over the past months.

Two years ago - maybe even two months ago - I would have told you that foreclosure was not an option for us. Our credit scores have already been super high. We've always tried to make smart financial choices.

We foreclose today.

__________

When I wrote this or this, I would have never imagined the road would end in foreclosure. Never.

But lately I've faced the fact that foreclosure is not the worst thing that could happen to us.

I praise, in the midst of the pain.

We were provided this apartment and new home, which will give us the ability to pay cash for the next seven years.

We have clothes and food and the ability to send our children to school.

We have a Savior who knows our every need and is providing. 

Through all the pain and trial, I believe that as much as I did two years ago. He is enough.

I started this journey with the belief that God would work it all out for His good and it would be a way I could minister to others. It may not be how I thought, but it still is. He is the I AM. The End.

----
Subscribe to the RSS feed or by e-mail.
Twitter much? I'm vanderbiltwife there, too.
Join my Facebook Fan Group

Finding Thanks in Bugs

It plagues me regularly: the feeling that our home is not enough.

It's certainly large enough for us. Four bedrooms with our current set-up. Adequate living room, two bathrooms, one even graced with a jacuzzi bathtub. OK, so the jacuzzis don't work, but it IS big.

Right now the bathroom is being invaded by ants, our stove is approximately 80 years old and the burners are uneven, our bedroom carpet is hideous, and there is no door between Libbie and David's rooms so I am not sure how I will ever move him in there. Teddy-bear border is scraped off Libbie's walls; it appears to have been stuck back on with hot glue when it was falling down. Her walls await green paint which has yet to have been procured in the appropriate color.

Not to mention this is not even the house that we own.

I saw my parents' new house for the first time Saturday evening. I immediately got the tingly jealous feelings. Gorgeous kitchen. Amazing floorplan. Beautiful tiled shower. Space. Lack of insects. Not 61 years old.

Right away, I do a double-check of feelings. Because? My parents have been married 32 years and are in their (EARLY and do not act it at all) 50s.

One of my biggest annoyances is that people my age and younger think they "deserve" everything RIGHT NOW that their parents have spent many years working toward. When my parents were my age (also with two small children), they lived in the same sort of older ranch house that we do now. They had the same financial struggles.

It's a constant cloak, the want for what I don't have. How do I shrug it off? Joy and thankfulness for the much I have. Clinging to the robe that I have in Christ.



Today, I am thankful for:

- the sweet curl-framed face of a toddler whose enthusiasm for life makes me crave a childlike faith
- the first laughs of my baby boy
- a home that is more than adequate for our needs and wants
- a stove that simmers soups and an oven that bakes fresh bread
- a safe and uneventful car trip from Chattanooga to Pennsylvania
- parents who adore me and my children and play on the floor and shower all of us with affection
- singing songs from 1998 in the car with my sister and trying to teach them to Libbie
- sweet sleep with an electric blanket

What are you thankful for today?

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!





----
Subscribe to the RSS feed or by e-mail.
Twitter much? I'm vanderbiltwife there, too.
Join my Facebook Fan Group

Flop

Today was a great day with Libbie. She slept until 8:30, took a two-hour nap, and was generally very happy. We went out to lunch, perused Hobby Lobby, and came home and played outside. I made applesauce and dinner. This house, which I've been very prejudiced against, was just starting to grow on me.

Then I realized our toilet had been running for a few hours.

Mr. V has been battling a screw that would not come out on our dryer so he could change the cord and ending up having to half-saw it out.

Dinner was a flop.

Applesauce was too cinnamony.

The light in the living room went completely out.

And what I was promised to be given to work on has materialized in an entirely different and very frustrating matter. On Friday afternoon, of course!

So lest you've made the mistake of thinking I'm some sort of sane, normal person, tonight I came very close to throwing myself on the floor and having a temper tantrum.

Top Ten Things I Learned About Staging a House Last Night

10. The more floorspace seen, the better. Angling the couch here lets more of our pretty hardwood floor show. End table and tall lamp behind the couch act as a faux sofa table.



9. The house should look like you don't really live there. No pictures of family. No hygiene products out where you can see them.

8. Clearing the counters of as much as possible really does make a difference.



7. Take everything off the refrigerator (even precious picture of our Compassion child).

6. Try to make colors mesh in consecutive rooms. The blue in the placemats on our dining room table and on the window valance help the kitchen and living room mesh.



5. Even if I never use it, a chair out here gives the appearance that one could lay out, get some sun, and read a good book. Meredith even suggested placing a book out there if I knew someone was coming.



4. Some fluffy, colored throw pillows make a world of difference in this room. We also added a lamp on the other table to balance the room some.



3. Cooking smells can turn someone off, but a little baked good on the kitchen island feels homey.

2. Grouping like items helps the house to not feel so cluttered (appliances, electronics, etc).

1. It WILL BE WORTH IT to not really use much of the house if it sells.

I cannot thank Meredith enough for graciously offering to help me and bringing over tons of stuff to decorate with. She's a saint. REALLY. I could never repay her for what she's done for me.

If you're visiting from a carnival, before pictures are here.

Linked up to Top Ten Tuesday and What I Learned This Week.